SCAWBU.

I just made that acronym up right now. It's an ideal that I always thought would be fun as a child, and over my college career, I've realized multiple times that I live my SCAWBU dream.


SCAWBU: (n) acronym from self contained above water backpacking unit

The ideal of having everything I need for the day in my backpack, and being this little unit who can go anywhere and do anything, and not need to recharge at home base all day. I love it. Everywhere is my home. I can get food, I have water, I have my computer, drawing materials, a book, music, phone, wallet, whatever. I'm a first-world, first class SCAWBU. And I definitely revel in it.

Like right now. After my sole class today, I trucked over to Coffman to indulge in a toasted cinnamon sugar bagel and chocolate milk with that hopes that maybe-this-will-count-as-lunch-until-I-go-home-sometime. 

Ha. Side note. I just had a realization that the William Within concert I'm going to tonight with Kelley will take place only 3 floors below where I sit right now, in the Whole Music Club. Yay for accessibility!

I'm currently parked in a comfy chair with a little desk arm thing in one of my favorite places on campus, the second floor of Coffman Union, where all the international students hang out. I know I've talked about this place before, but I am always so pleasantly surprised when I remember about it and chill for a while. It is definitely the loudest floor of Coffman. The bookstore floor, where the food is, is also loud, but that's an everybody-is-busy-and-has-to-talk-to-each-other-to-make-purchases-and-maybe-say-hi-to-my-friend-in-passing loud. This loud here is thumping music, and groups of friends chatting it up in all sorts of languages, throwing things at each other, free food, you name it. The walls are painted bright colors, and there is art everywhere. It's a community, basically, whereas other floors here are just gathering places for individuals. And I like that, too, but it feels nice to be surrounded by a swirl of activity and warmth. Ha, and, unlike any truly white kid, I look like I could belong here. I may have been raised caucasian, and that's all well and good, but it's quite amusing to be able to blend in other places, as well.

I just wiped some cream cheese off of my eyebrow.


Whelp, I'm going to run some errands on campus, and them maybe mosey over to Target or CVS or something to pick up things. I love days like today. Where there are things to do, but no schedule, and I am surrounded by a flurry of energy and other people with purposes. 

It's time to take a walk.


Songs of the Day:

Behind Your Eyes by Jon Foreman

Brother Aidan from The Secret of Kells soundtrack

Labrador by Loyal Divide

Sirens by Visions of Trees

What 'last' means.

So many people have spoken to me recently being like "Oh, this is your last semester! How do you feel?"

I just don't even know. How am I supposed to feel? Relieved, probably. Maybe sad. Excited? 

Maybe it's a combination of all of those things, but I think at this point I can't even wrap my head around the fact that I am on the tail end of something that has been so much a part of my life for the past 3.5 years. It's been my life. 

There is something about beginning and ending new phases in one's life that is entirely disorienting. It's even more disorienting because this is one of the last things that I will do that conventional society has a timeline for. That meaning, first you go to preschool, then elementary, junior high, high school, and directly into a 4-year college. Usually. And that's what I did. 

But after that, it's all free-range. Even grad school, if I am accepted, is still free-range. People go back to grad school at all ages, and there's no law that says it comes immediately after college is done. Nope. The young-adult cliff is approaching, and the yawning chasm of figure-out-your-life is next.

Thing is, I am trying not to make that such a big deal in my head. You hear that all the time, about how it's scary right after college. And I'm sure it will be. But recently, through friends I've made, through taking to people, and through really examining my life...I'm not so scared. Not yet. Fear is paralysing, and I am no stranger to that weird denial stage. I hate it, and I want to do my best to avoid it. Sure, I'll go through weirdy times, and we'll see how that goes, but I can't worry my head over it now. Not too much, at least.


Anyway, this idea of the things I'm doing now being prescribed 'lasts' is just odd. It's just odd. There's no other way I can put it right now. I mean, I have the potential to feel forlorn about it, realizing that I will only be able to identify myself with the college crowd and lifestyle for only a short time more. And hey, I don't want to be a college student forever, just like how I didn't want to be a high school student forever. But knowing I need to move on in a designated time frame is weird. It'll be fascinating to go out into a world where that isn't so culturally recognized. Like, how long I keep a job is more up to me or a company versus a cultural idea. Does that make sense?

This is all very bungling to talk about, and it is swimming around just below the threshold in my head where my deep emotions lie. I think this forlornness will set it more as the semester goes on. I'm just predicting it a little now.


On to more uplifting things, I suppose.


P.S. I typed 'sad college' into Google images just for fun, and this is the first thing that comes up:

Classes.

From Persepolis, one of the novels we're reading.

Well, the first week of classes for this semester has been conquered. I still have a couple I haven't been to yet, because they only happen on Mondays, and this last Monday was MLK day, and therefore, no class. But thus far, I really love all my classes. I'm taking:

Advanced Painting: lots of self-assigned projects. That's okay, though, because I have a senior project to work on. The professor is a wise sir, so this will be an enriching experience, methinks.

The Graphic Novel: an English course where we're reading a bunch of underground books. The entire first class was spent introducing ourselves by telling our best injury stories. And the homework = read comic books. This is going to be a hoot.

Geography of the Twin Cities: Basically the history of how MSP was shaped by the people who came here, their industry, etc., and why everything is like it is today. So exciting, and so relevant, as I am wanting to dig more and more into the makeup of this city. 

Careers and Internship Prep Course: Exactly what it sounds like. Not the funnest, but very practical. And the professor is very caring, so that'll help. At least it's only once a week.

Illustrating the Graphic Novel: I'll begin this class on Monday, but it will pair up with my other class so well, I can't even tell you. And it's taught by my first year drawing teacher, who happens to still be my Facebook friend, and his twin brother. A fun time indeed.

Diversity in Children's Literature: Hopefully this will give me an insight on if I ever work on children's books. That class starts on Monday, too. We'll see!

Major Project: Basically me working with my painting professor to get my senior project put together, etc. And I get a credit for it.


So there. That's my current academic life. I'm super excited for this last semester.

The last hurrah.

As you may be aware, I have been on and off with the blogging thing over my college career. But if there is one thing I want to do for myself this last semester is have a good documentation of my observations again. I love doing it, once I'm in.

So this is my promise to you. I'll blog.

I also have a lot of time between classes to do so this semester. So there.

I do need to run off to my first advanced painting class right now, since it took me the past forever to get this new blog layout to work. The old one was having hot linking problems with images. Boo. Not much I can do there. Oh well.

Aight. More later. I promise.



Songs of the Day:

Hurricane by MSMR

Sirens by Visions of Trees

Labrador by Loyal Divide

Move to the Ocean (Beaver Remix) by Brick & Mortar

Simple days.

I'm back here at Nina's Coffee Café, catching up on the probably 8 million pages I need to read for school. Tralalala. It's my own fault. Don't feel too bad. But maybe feel bad a little.

There is something I so greatly cherish about the sorts of days where I can dress reasonably put-togetherly, hop in my car with all my schoolbooks and computer and whatnot, and just run errands for as long as my little heart so desires until the motivation for homework finally sets in.

In my adventures today, I included a trip to the bank, which is always very droll and whatever. But I saw an elderly woman wearing Sperry's, and that made my day. No good reason, really. I just generally associate that particular brand with several people my age, and so it stuck out to me, and made me smile.

The trees around the city are on their way to absolute loveliness. I made sure to drive around with my sunglasses on, for protection, and for color0enhancement. They have a nice warm tint to them, and never fail to make the leaves seem a bajillion times brighter than they may be. Nothing like self-disillusionment to make ya happy.

Oh! And I nearly forgot! I went to see Ben Howard in concert with Bjones last night at the Varsity theatre! Ha, beforehand, Jones locked her keys in her car, so we had to wait for almost 2 hours for the dude to get there to get them out. Stupid. But we made it to the concert before the second opening band was done, so all was well. It was a grand ol' time, save the noisy girls behind us. Unless you're a musician, it's hard to fully communicate the value of a listening room. When crowds get bigger, they just get louder, and that can get a little tiring. But nonetheless, it was a great break from reality, and I got to see a bunch of people I knew, and it was wonderous.

A nice in-motion shot, courtesy of my friend Kaia Olsen, who was in front of us.

Alright, enough with the dawdling. I need to start reading.


Songs of the Day:

Farewell (In 3 Parts) by Husky (this seems to keep popping up)

Chicago (Acoustic) by Sufjan Stevens (this, too)

Black Flies by Ben Howard (of course)

Power pants.

This post is going to be a quick one because I have to pee.

But I have a little time before a meeting for my work this evening, and I found a nice little spot on the Northrop Plaza, and couldn't pass up a good blogging experience.

tralala.

Today is one of those days where I can sense the pressure building in my life, but have chosen to ignore the stress end of things and just get into the mentality of just dealing with it. Reason for this decision:

Pants.


I am wearing my sunshine butt pants, as Whooshie calls them. They are a bright golden yellow, and one cannot feel like an overwhelmed poop when wearing such a monstrosity. They are probably my most powerful Power Pants.

 I have three sets of Power Pants:

Lava Butt: the name of the pants that are a nice brick red. Good for days when black, blue, or grey pants won't do, but great extremes are not necessary.


Fire Butt: a nice clementine orange set of pants. Good for days when you desire to infest the masses with a good double-take.

and, of course

Sunshine Butt: these pants are happiness and insanity embodied in two leg tubes. I am sure there are more 'wild' pants out there, but nothing says BOOPDOOPADOOP like yellow pants. It's like wrapping a blinding smile around your posterior in the morning.

Ok. That's all you need to know.

I'm going to go finish some unfinished business now.


Songs of the Moment:

Big Parade by The Lumineers

Farewell (In 3 Parts) by Husky

Tesselate by Alt-J

The part when I realize it's autumn.

It's time for Pumpkin Sweater and a dirty chai. 

It's autumn!

For the longest time, even though the calendar said September, even though school had begun, and even though I'd been trying to pull out fall clothes and listen to fall music, I just couldn't get a sense of that warm, cozy fall feeling that usually sweeps over me this time of year.

Whelp, it did now. Why now, you may ask?

The weather. Always the weather.

No more of this "Hey, it's September and you're in school, but the highs are in the upper 90s."

Bleh. Bleh bleh bleh.

But I can now say that is currently 50 degrees here in ol' Minneapolis, and I am feeling great.

I feel like the Weisman museum sometimes. More like all the time. Some one once said that our campus art museum is a weather reflector. I think I even made a post on this once. But it's so true. It's multi-faceted metal sides help it blend in to whatever mood the atmosphere has chosen for the day.

Gloomy sky = gloomy architecture. What a brilliant idea.

Anyways, needless to say, it is fall. It's fall it's fall it's fall.

I was over at Nina's (pronounced "Nye-nahs, for all you uneducated folks not unlike myself until very recently) Coffee Café On Cathedral Hill in St. Paul last night with good ol' Rachel, and the feeling finally hit me. 

Perhaps it had to do with sitting with an old friend in a cozy warm coffee shop in the evening, with the street lamps glowing warmly outside as the wind whistled through the changing trees.

Or it was emphasized by the safe and cozy neighborhood filled with boutiques, soaring mansions and cobblestone streets.

Maybe it was the cappuccino and rhubarb bread we shared. 

Or the jazz music I had to listen to for homework.

 Perhaps it was due to wearing a comfy sweater and moccasins and a favorite knit hat. 

Or from listening to fall music while driving back in the evening through Como Park, and seeing multiple bonfires with people sitting around them, singing songs and playing the guitar.

Or the fact that I bought warm-scented incense earlier that day, and went home to burn some that smelled like hot spiced cider.
Maybe it's because we have a black cat with golden-orange eyes.

Or that I made homemade cornbread and heated up some homemade vegetable soup to go with it.

Maybe it's because Leslie and I sat at out kitchen table by candlelight and listened to a large array of fart noises via the interwebs, and also talked about fallish things.

It was probably the latter one.



Needless to say, there were enough elements of the last few days that, combined, made my fall start out well.


Ha, another fall moment this week consisted of me bringing my new favorite snack to church rehearsal on Thursday night. See, a couple of weeks ago, Harnar, Leslie and I went to Pat's Tap on Nicollet for a drink. I ordered some cider and a smoked gouda cheese plate, and I have not regretted that decision in the least. I have since modified the initial ingredients of the dish to fit my own resources, so let me give you my recipe (apply ingredients in this order to prevent explosions): 

-round Melba toasts

-soft caramel

-dry toasted almond slices

-smoked gouda cheese

-thinly sliced apple


Then just eat it.
And you will not regret any decisions you have just made.

(Charlie, the keyboardist at church/jack of all trades.friend of Bruce who shares his office with him, even awarded me the HFS award for such a pleasantly surprising snack. You can check Urban Dictionary for the meaning if you want). I have to agree, it is pretty amazing. And fall-ish to the core. Ha.

(P.S. all of this stuff is found at Trader Joe's...except maybe the caramel. Do they sell caramel? Maybe.)


Alright, whelp, I am going to finish my lunch here in the art building before working solidly on painting and printmaking for the next bajillion hours (not a bad deal at all). I walked by Mapps Coffee on the way over here to pick up my first 'dirty chai' (chai and espresso), and it is pretty faboo. And some vegan pumpkin nut bread.

In closing, even though all my nostalgic emotions are all confused, as mentioned in the previous post, I truly cannot complain about my life right about now.



Songs for the True Start of Autumn:


Chicago (Acoustic) by Sufjan Stevens (this is truly magical)

Take To You by The Running Riot (a grand local band I've had the privilege of playing alongside)


Farewell (In 3 Parts) by Husky (an Australian band I saw in August)

The Hill by Marketa Irglova (good for quiet night driving)

Twice by Little Dragon (for eerie days)

Bloodflood by Alt-J (∆)(so fulfilling in the end)

Old Pine by Ben Howard (I'm gonna see him this Thursday!)

You Are All I See by Active Child (best heard in a large church sanctuary by yourself, if you can swing it)

One For the Road/Storm Clouds from the 3:10 to Yuma Soundtrack (always perfect for everything)

Moan by Trentemøller (complete with birds-in-the-woods noises)

Enchanting Ghost by Sufjan Stevens (because it is beautiful)

The Flies by Showbread (something disturbing but intriguing)

Big Rock Candy Mountain by Harry McClintock (make sure to watch it on YouTube)

Tesselate by Alt-J (∆)(great for watching large numbers of people going by aka college campuses)



There.

Return of past-glancing.

Hoh, lerdy lerd, have I been neglecting this place. 

I had a revelation some time ago that it is very much a part of me to observe and share observations I have on life, and I realize the best place for me to do that would be here.

I'm back. I promise.


And I'm a senior in college.

Do you have any idea how much that has been weirding me out lately? See, if you ere to go far, far back into this blog to me melancholy freshman year posts, you would quickly begin to realize that I am a highly nostalgic person, sometimes to the pathetic extreme. Well, I am pleased to say that both the pathetic and extreme elements of my nostalgia have been pretty well let go, but in their place, I have realized that I've been squelching any sort of emotion in that arena. Life has flown past me at such an alarming and reasonably repetitive rate the past few years that I have not had the desire to capture it.

Until now. Until a time when change is on the horizon, and I'm not sure what to do with myself. Emotionally, that is.

I haven't felt this nostalgic in months, really. Many months. And, hey, that's okay, seeing that I've let it consume me before, but I have felt that I have stifled some part of myself that is very key to who I am. The part that reflects and remembers and captures the moment. 

I've been starting to contemplate how I'd be able to capture that in my art, which would be marvellous, but I haven't gotten that far yet...

Anyways, what I am trying to say is that I am not going to let myself feel guilty for not writing on here just because I used to a lot and then I quit. I realize that I quit for reasons that are still a little baffling to me, but it had become clear that it is healthy for me to take this time to slow down and process the world around me before I forget it.

There. Guilt-free. I think. :)

Blankets.

So I'm sitting here in my toasty apartment bedroom, thinking to myself that, hey, I should start blogging again. 

But what do I blog about after being off here for so long?

Whelp, let me tell you what. When you are tired and overheated (it's midnight and 86 degrees out--MN can sometimes stink), your mind makes decisions that are perhaps less-then-intelligent and/or not interesting.

Therefore, I'm here to talk to you about blankets.

It's hard to feel romantic and inspired by something like blankets when it's so hot I don't even need them, but I will do my best to enlighten you on the joys and sorrows blankets can bring.

Let's start with sorrows. The list is short:

-suffocation

Now that that's over, let's talk about the many benefits of blankets:

-warm

-comforting

-good for building forts

-can help you fall asleep if they're situated just right

-instant shield for scary movies

-cat traps

-turbans

-can potentially be some of your best friends. but that's weird in every case except Linus Van Pelt.

-but blankets can be good friends. just don't make them your only friends

-last for a long time

-smell nice, generally

-make a place feel homey

-probably make good gifts

-you can even make them yourself!

-if you don't want a blanket to be used for blankety things any more, you can just cut it up and use it for other tasks like toga parties and potholders.

-invisibility cloak against monsters

-tablecloth

-can be bunched up to become mountain home for your Beanie Babies

-makeshift tent

-kick drum muffler

-ghost costumes

-swaddling clothes?

-substitute for towels. but only when necessary. blankets have bigger egos than towels, and should be given more respect

-picnic blankets!

-sibling trap

-secret hideout for when you need to look like a fabric lump

-curtains

-target practice for lame-aimers

-rainy day friend who is wonderful to come home to and snuggle with

-dress-up clothing substitute. good for when you need to look like a bride/Caeser/the grim reaper

-playhouse door

-napkin. but that'd be pretty low of you. blankets are a very sophisticated square of fabric

-lame suitcase

I'm sure there are many more uses for blankets, but those are a few that came off the top of my head.

To end this post, here are several breeds of blankets:

Weird silky-edged blanket. Gets strange and pilly at an alarming rate.

Fire blanket. To throw on your friends when their thigh is on fire.

Horse blanket. aka equine body tent.

Friend blanket. aka security blanket. aka the best kind of blanket. warm and snuggly to the max.

The infamous Snuggie. Which can also be called the Slanket. Creepy to the max. Helps hide skin disease.

Space blanket. A crunchy thermal thing for hypothermia burritos. 

Cozy, normal blanket. Yay.

And there you have it.

Blankets.

Why can't we go in there, Grandma?

myself and Theo, our temporary room mate and alarm clock.

First of all, hello again.


Second of all, my life has been so awesome as of late I can't even tell you. Well, maybe I can, but do you really care to know?


Maybe?




Here is a summary:


-moved back to MPLS. woots.


-began the Inverted Arts program as the music instructor. Hung out with awesome dedicated interns for two weeks. Teaching a class of 12 middle schoolers music/Garageband the next two weeks. crazy. frickin'. awesome.


-made new friends! or, more like made friends into even closer friends. another woot!


-it's been 90+ degrees for over a week now. subtract one woot. insert 'boo hiss'.


-the sunsets have been amazing as of late, though. heat does things that are sometimes good.


-cat-sat a ...cat.


-been sleep-deprived, overly caffeinated, and weird for multiple days at a time! woot again.


-oh. going back farther: seen my post-roomie get married. WHAT NOW.


-worn my straw fedora and gotten crazy a lot of compliments on it. Way to go, Calvin Klein?


-seen a triple rainbow all the way across the sky!


-became a fan of Bull Run Coffee. go there. become addicted.


-tried calamari for the first time. RAD.


-visited to Raptor Center at the U of M for the first time ever. whoa fun!


-and most importantly: bought orange pants.






there. my life.


that's over with.


ha.








I'm back, blogosphere!








Songs of right now:


All the tunes my middle schoolers cranked out over the past less-than-two-weeks!!! I FEEL LIKE A PROUND PARENT ALL OVER THE PLACE.

[title = words a little girl asked her grandma when referring to the habitat of a turkey vulture at the Raptor Center.

Answer: because, child. Death.]

And the living is easy.

Summer. 


It's always one of those things that you cannot wait for, and when it finally arrives, your brain goes....oh. hey. yep. hey.




Anti-climactic, much?


At least that's how it's been for me in college. Whatever.


Summertime means a lot of time for reflection, invention, creation, and sheer laziness. I've been doing my best to avoid the last one on that list, but it is something that is slightly tricky to avoid when you are hanging out in your bedroom a lot by your lonesome. 


But lots of other things happen, too.


For instance, in  the first week of being home and having lots of time to myself to manage my own time, I have:


-gotten (part) of my life organized


-invented my own iced coffee drink


-read a couple books and started another


-taken solitary walks and bike rides and highly enjoyed them


-cleaned my room. repeatedly.


-played music, on both my iPod and bass


-repeatedly gone to the library


-taken myself shopping (for rather practical things, but still)


-watched a couple fantastic movies which I will later enlighten you about


-drawn pictures. lots of pictures.


-bought a hat


-learned to braid my hair a few different ways


-played the piano


-sang really really loud when no one's home


-taken showers


-actually I always take showers alone. i just thought i'd mess with your head for a second.


-contemplated cleaning drawers, but then shying away from the idea


-played tag with the dog


-eaten lots of greek yogurt and honey


-and string cheese ( i promise this is not my diet. it's just the alone part of my diet)




and other things. but those are very specifically alone things.
And it's quite wonderful. 


Yet I always find myself panicking that I should be doing something more useful with my time, and wonder what I should be doing.
But then I realize it's summer, and homework does not exist right now.
Sure, there are many projects I am and could be working on, and that's happening. It's just weird not having strict deadlines for busywork.


Oh! And one other thing I have taken to doing that I highly enjoy: I am trying to brush up on my wildflower identification.


Sound boring? NOPE. IT'S NOT. Being able to identify the plants you're walking by in the woods is GREAT fun, surprisingly. Like, do you know what birds-foot trefoil is? Or water hemlock? Columbine? A showy orchis? Whelp,all of these are right here in the Minneapolis metro.See?

Here's Birds Foot Trefoil. Recognize it? Yup. Can be found on the edges of basically
 any road anywhere around here.

Here's Water Hemlock. I suppose you wouldn't see it much unless you were near water, but hey, it's Minnesota. Water is everywhere. A word to the wise--this is probably the most poisonous plant in MN. And, fun fact, it's closely related to the hemlock that was rumored to have killed Socrates. Whoopee!

Here's Wild Columbine. You see a lot of this in the mountains,  too. But you can also see it in the north woods. And my mom's garden.

And finally,the Showy Orchis. I kinda tricked you on this one, because it would be a rare deal for you to see one regularily. I had the pleasure of stumbling upon one of these last spring with my mom. We later learned that these plants only bloom once every 10-15 years, and will pop up quite a long ways away from where they were last. Tricky little devils. It was quite the treat, I might add.

So, yes. Flower identification is actually rather rewarding. I'm only doing flowers so far, because it's a lot easier than trees or shrubs. At least for starters.


I'm also trying to brush us on bird call identification, too, though that it a lil' bit trickier, since you don't always see the culprit making the noise. This is where we employ the interwebs...




And there you have it. My current state of being. Well, so be more specific, my current state of being is me being is warm and sweaty, as I just had the pleasure of a solitary evening bike ride again. Tralala. Shower time.


Solitary shower time. heh.




Audios.




Songs of the Week shall be revamped shortly. I'll probably just post a list of the things I have found interesting as of late...