Blankets.

So I'm sitting here in my toasty apartment bedroom, thinking to myself that, hey, I should start blogging again. 

But what do I blog about after being off here for so long?

Whelp, let me tell you what. When you are tired and overheated (it's midnight and 86 degrees out--MN can sometimes stink), your mind makes decisions that are perhaps less-then-intelligent and/or not interesting.

Therefore, I'm here to talk to you about blankets.

It's hard to feel romantic and inspired by something like blankets when it's so hot I don't even need them, but I will do my best to enlighten you on the joys and sorrows blankets can bring.

Let's start with sorrows. The list is short:

-suffocation

Now that that's over, let's talk about the many benefits of blankets:

-warm

-comforting

-good for building forts

-can help you fall asleep if they're situated just right

-instant shield for scary movies

-cat traps

-turbans

-can potentially be some of your best friends. but that's weird in every case except Linus Van Pelt.

-but blankets can be good friends. just don't make them your only friends

-last for a long time

-smell nice, generally

-make a place feel homey

-probably make good gifts

-you can even make them yourself!

-if you don't want a blanket to be used for blankety things any more, you can just cut it up and use it for other tasks like toga parties and potholders.

-invisibility cloak against monsters

-tablecloth

-can be bunched up to become mountain home for your Beanie Babies

-makeshift tent

-kick drum muffler

-ghost costumes

-swaddling clothes?

-substitute for towels. but only when necessary. blankets have bigger egos than towels, and should be given more respect

-picnic blankets!

-sibling trap

-secret hideout for when you need to look like a fabric lump

-curtains

-target practice for lame-aimers

-rainy day friend who is wonderful to come home to and snuggle with

-dress-up clothing substitute. good for when you need to look like a bride/Caeser/the grim reaper

-playhouse door

-napkin. but that'd be pretty low of you. blankets are a very sophisticated square of fabric

-lame suitcase

I'm sure there are many more uses for blankets, but those are a few that came off the top of my head.

To end this post, here are several breeds of blankets:

Weird silky-edged blanket. Gets strange and pilly at an alarming rate.

Fire blanket. To throw on your friends when their thigh is on fire.

Horse blanket. aka equine body tent.

Friend blanket. aka security blanket. aka the best kind of blanket. warm and snuggly to the max.

The infamous Snuggie. Which can also be called the Slanket. Creepy to the max. Helps hide skin disease.

Space blanket. A crunchy thermal thing for hypothermia burritos. 

Cozy, normal blanket. Yay.

And there you have it.

Blankets.